pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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