She announced her abortion via fbk
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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