She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
