She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
