i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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