why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
