Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize