Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize