i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
