Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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