I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
