You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
