So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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