I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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