Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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