Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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