He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
