There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
