You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
