this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
