sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
