Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
