reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize