Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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