He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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