Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
