You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
