And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
