:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Randomize