I think my vagina is haunted
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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