perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
