I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize