apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
