Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old

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(678): View more from Georgia

NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree

(404): View more from Georgia

YES.

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(416): View more from Toronto

he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.

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(623): View more from Arizona

This tent reeks of fear and sangria

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

sidebar: i fucked your brother last night

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Go shave, and then go fuck the man

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU

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