i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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