i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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