I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Randomize
