I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize