so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
