Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
