I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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