I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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