Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
