After last night, I could never be a politician.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize