The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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