So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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