woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
