Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
