1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
