I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
