I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
being pregnant is like rehab
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize