hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
