Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize