i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
