everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
