Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize