I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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