so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
