Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She's the barista slut.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
