I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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