forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
