You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
