Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
