dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
