we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
