Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
