Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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