She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize