I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
