he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
