He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
